Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
