people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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