Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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