just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
