member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
