sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
