JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
