ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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