She's JV to your varsity
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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