why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
