Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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