No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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