He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
