can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
