Joe is yelling at the trees again.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I love you. Go after that dick
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
