And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
