she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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