wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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