She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Say something about gay babies.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
