right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
