Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
