am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
