Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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