Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
