i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
