I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
