Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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