Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We have so much sex to catch up on
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
