As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
