The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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