yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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