remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
