Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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