So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
