Me too!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
