She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
