You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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