I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
