wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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