The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
