weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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