she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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