Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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