is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
