And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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