SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
