I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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