if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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