And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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