Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
